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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

TLV Abridged: Scene 9 - Getting Even/Infestation - Part 3

"Infestation" part 2




McAshton: What is the meaning of all this? Do you want me to lose business?


McAshton: And besides, that you insist upon smoking in my home is grounds enough for me to throw you out.


Rookery: You wouldn't do that, my lord. After all, I'm the only one around who can help you solve your problem.


McAshton: (inner dialogue) Oh, dear.


McAshton: How do you know I have a problem?
Rookery: Isn't it obvious?


McAshton: What it is is none of your business.


Rookery: But you do have a problem, my lord.


Rookery: Just so happens I require...payment for my services.


McAshton: Do you realize what you're implying? This is a kids' movie!


Rookery: Not anymore. I'll have you know I was allowed to pull a gun last night.


McAshton: *is aghast*


McAshton: Wh-wh-wh-


Rookery: Beg pardon?


Rookery: But it's nothing of the sort I'm sure you're thinking. I happen to be the only man around trained and paid to kill vampires.


Rookery: Amirite?


McAshton: Alright, suppose you are.
Rookery: See, now we're getting somewhere.

 
McAshton: But before we discuss this anymore, I'll need to see a biting.


Rookery: (inner dialogue) Hmm, I'm sure that can be arranged.


McAshton: Now that we're clear, kindly get out of my house.


McAshton: I, for one, would like to keep living in the delusion that this is a family friendly piece of filmmaking.


McAshton: And I kindly suggest you let others do the same. Understood?


Rookery: Can't run from the truth forever, my lord.


Rookery: Alright, let's go.


Butler: My, what an interesting jacket.


Tony: I can't believe aristocrats were supposed to keep track of all this.


Tony: I mean pages and pages, and they had to have it all memorized.


*is feigning domestic bliss*


Bob: *is not feigning workaholism*


Dottie: Ahh, there we go. Perfect table setting, beautiful family, fabulous tea, and a cute little stirring stick in the foreground that...that no one will notice. *threatens tears*


Tony: Dad, how much do you know about crests?


Bob: Sorry, what?


Bob: Oh. Plenty, Tony.


*is really, really uncertain of his father's stated ability*


Dottie: So, what's up? Is this a school project?


Tony: Uh...something like that.


Dottie: I know you're a bad liar, Tony.

 
Tony: I'm still cute enough to make it in the movie business, right? 


Dottie: You know how high their standards are.


*doesn't like that answer*

 
Bob: Here, have a look at this beauty. It's Lord McAshton's, and it's a piece of heraldic art if ever I've seen one. 


*It's time for....*


*...SIGNIFICANT FLASHBACK!*



Tony: Wow, this is exactly what I'm looking for!


Bob: Huh. Wonder what for.


Tony: You're right! It is really cool looking!


Dottie: (stage whisper) Bob! He only says that about plot-significant things!


Bob: He does? I didn't know that.


Tony: Wonder what this weird stuff at the bottom says.


Dottie: Maybe if you use your gut, you can tell if you'll need it later.


Tony: Cool! I gotta go up to my room.


Bob: Well, that was weird.


Bob: But at least he's being weird about something normal.


Bob: You're never going to guess what happened to me today at my presentation.


Bob: Some nutcase barged in demanding to talk to Lord McAshton because apparently the village has an infestation of vampires.


Dottie: No way.
Bob: I know, right?


Dottie: What guy are we talking about here?


Dottie: Bob!

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