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Friday, January 3, 2014

TLV Abridged: Scene 6 - Not Monsters



Dottie: Look at that sunshine!


Tony: Yeah, bright.


Dottie: Wait, where'd your head go?
Tony: Over here.


Dottie: Why?


Dottie: Didn't the plot get going last night?


Tony: No, I don't think so.


Dottie: I'm sorry, baby.


Tony: Don't be sorry, Mom.


Tony: I made a new best friend!


Dottie: That's terrific!


Tony: That's good for the plot, right?


Dottie: I'm pretty sure.


Dottie: Now come on! Time to get ready for school.


Tony: Ugh, school.


*is sneaking up on Rudolph*




Tony: Okay, it's safe.



Tony: Hey, Rudolph! Rudolph!



Rudolph: Unless you want me to burn to a crisp, you shut that lid right now!


Tony: Oops.


Dottie: I'm going to ask you an innocent question. I hope you can deliver a corny line I'm not expected to know the meaning of!


Tony: (inner dialogue) Perfect. The ultimate test.
Dottie: (actual dialogue) Are you hungry?


Tony: (actual response) I could eat a cow.


Farmer McLaughlin: Ah, another beautiful day with my cows, all...



Farmer McLaughlin: Wait a second.


Farmer McLaughlin: Where's Betsy?


Farmer McLaughlin: Betsy! *whistles* Betsy, c'mon.



Betsy: Leave me alone, you old fool!


Farmer McLaughlin: What the...?



Farmer McLaughlin: Well, suit yourself.


Farmer McLaughlin: It's still pretty weird, though.



*is rocking some good old-fashioned American swagger*


Flint: Well, doesn't he look pleased with himself.


Nigel: Well, what're we waitin' for?


Tony: You're just jealous because I'm central to the plot and you're not.


Nigel: Alright, that's it!


Nigel: Get over here, you little...
Flint: You're through now!



Girl in Black: This'll be good!
Redheaded Lass: Wait for me!



Kid in the White Shirt: What's happening? Who's winning?


Tony: Ugh, I'm screwed.


Dottie: Who on Earth taught you to talk like that? You know what, don't answer that. The better question is what're you doing picking fights when it has nothing to do with anything? Besides, can't your new best friend help you out with this?


Tony: He's kind of tied up. We're not in the same class.


Dottie: They could've broken your nose, and if you're ever going to have a future in the movie business, you can't look like a hard-core prisoner.


Rudolph: (inner monologue) Someone punched Tony in the nose? He's my new best friend, and nobody picks on the best friends of Rudolph Sackville-Bagg.


Dottie: Besides, you're a good guy, remember? You're supposed to be an upstanding young man and a model for greater society.


Tony: But I don't want to spend all my life getting picked on all the time. Dad said that if you fight back, then bullies will back off.


Dottie: Well, that's true most of the time. But sometimes, when bullies are really mean, you have to involve other people.


Dottie: Teachers, the dean...


Dottie: ...cops...


Tony: Are you talking about your last marriage again?


Dottie: Of course not. Don't be silly.


Rudolph: Last marriage? Police officers? What kind of family is this?


Dottie: (laughing) My last marriage...


Tony: You're talking about your last marriage.


Rudolph: Regardless, Tony does smell quite good.


Tony: You remember, the crazy guy that lived in the next apartment building, with the baseball bat and the huge cell phone bill.


Dottie: Oh, him. Don't worry about him. He's gone now.


Tony: So what about you and Dad?


Dottie: Don't worry about that, either, okay? You've got a plot to take care of.


Dottie: I sense a disturbance.


Tony: I don't feel anything.


Dottie: No, I'm sure of it.


Tony: Maybe the plot's in this very room.


Rudolph: *suddenly closing the lid to avoid Dottie's perception*

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