Rudolph: Please stop testing the harmlessness of that thing on me. You're making me nervous.
Tony: Sorry, dude.
Anna: Look at this stuff.
Rudolph: Anna, you're not the Little Mermaid.
Rudolph: But I do have to wonder where half this stuff even came from.
Anna: I know.
Tony: We're not the only ones that know about this place. I think I see foot prints.
Anna: Let's follow them and see where they lead.
Rudolph: We're 'who's, not 'that's.
Dottie: Wow, I never noticed how beautiful the stars are out here.
Bob: Where did that beautiful lady go?
Frederick: Behind you, not that you should be asking.
Freda: Thank you, dear.
Frederick: It's in my understanding you have a young son who has you worried sick by this point in the movie.
Dottie: You know about this?
Bob: What right do you have to come on to my wife?
Frederick: It's not like I'm telekinetic or anything. *shows off*
Freda: Frederick.
Bob: You're worried about him showing off?
Dottie: Bob, this is not the time to get into this. These people know where our son is.
Freda: Listen to them argue, dear.
Frederick: Yes, I know.
Bob: *does not trust*
Frederick: *respectfully abstaining from picking the fight he clearly wants to pick*
Bob: That's Lord McAshton's car.
Dottie: What's he doing here?
*having a dizzy spell*
McAshton: Oh, good. I've caught you. I've got dreadful news, horrible, unbelievable news.
McAshton: You see this stake and axe? You have to take the axe and use it to hammer the stake through Tony's chest.
Bob: Are you high?
McAshton: I'll have you know I'm terrified enough to shit myself and slightly drunk on good Scottish whisky.
McAshton: Now observe. *demonstrate*
Bob: You're a lot more than slightly drunk.
McAshton: And after three taps...it's over.
*awkward pause*
McAshton: Don't you see, Thompson? You've got to drive this stake through Tony's heart!
Dottie: (actual dialogue) Oh, my God!
Bob: She said it.
McAshton: What are you...how could you...he's a vampire!
Freda: How could they object? Tony's their son!
Frederick: This man has lost it. He doesn't know a vampire from his left--
*please note Frederick's reflection in the glass of the car window, as well as Freda's hair being reflected, too*
Bob: You are indeed, very drunk.
Bob: Don't worry. I'll find this man a cab, and then we'll all go find our son.
Dottie: You were lucid for that?
McAshton: Please, I beg of you, take these. Rid your home of the scourge.
Bob: Okay, stop with the vampire mania. You are wasted out of your mind and you need to go home.
*stunned into mindless stuttering*
Bob: Tony is not a vampire. You have no idea what you're talking about.
Bob: And if you, sir, call Tony a vampire ever again, I will march my ass right out your door and fly all the way back to San Diego and never come back.
Frederick: That's the fire a man needs to feel when defending his own.
Bob: And furthermore, you're embarrassing me and my wife in front of a very lovely lady and her very intimidating husband who happen to be aristocrats.
Bob: You got that, pal?
McAshton: You don't say.
McAshton: Let's get a closer look.
Frederick: You need no further proof than what your eyes can give you.
Frederick: And I can attest personally to the fact that Tony is no vampire. He happens to be my son's best friend, and should you insult him again, Robert's wrath will be the least of your problems.
*drops axe in state of shock*
Frederick: That's better. Now, leave.
Bob: You heard him, get lost.
McAshton: ...okay.
Dottie and Bob both: *glares*
*surrenders and turns to leave*
McAshton: Ah, hot! Hot!
Bob: You hear that? I told him to leave.
Dottie: (actual dialogue) You were wonderful.
Dottie: Good job.
Freda: Come along, dearies. We have to find your son.
Frederick: For you, my lady. *They don't come that charming anymore*
Dottie: Thank you.
McAshton: Wait a minute...
McAshton: Those are vampires!
McAshton: I need to follow them. They're in danger.
McAshton: *is oblivious to the vampire sitting behind him*
Caretaker: (thinking) They're not the only ones, he he he.
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