TLV Abridged: Scene 13 - To the Rescue - Part 2

 

 

Anna: Uuuggh, this thing's heavy.

 

Rudolph: We're vampires. We can take it.

Tony: Hey, guys! Thanks for saving me.



 

Rudolph: *would be blushing slightly if he could* Why wouldn't we?

 



Rudolph: Now, tell me who did this to you so I can tear the person's throat out, yes?

 

Anna: At least let me recite my poem before you two start hashing out gory details!

 

Rudolph: *scared for his sister's mental health*
Tony: *picture of ambivalence*

Anna: Besides, you promised, remember?

Rudolph: Alright, let her talk.
Tony: It was Rookery, by the way.

Rudolph: Rookery?
Tony: You know, creepy vampire hunter dude who always sleeps in his truck.
Rudolph: No, I know who it is.

*is sad because no one's listening to her*

Tony: This really isn't the time to bite my head off, dude. We've gotta find this woman named Elizabeth before Rookery does because she probably has that stone thing you're looking for.

Anna: Well, here goes... Roses are red, violets are blue...

Rudolph: Elizabeth?

Tony: Elizabeth McAshton. She ran off with your uncle when he turned up in Scotland and they apparently both died together, but I don't believe it, but that's a story for another day.

Anna: Blue like the bluest ocean, deeper than all the seas...

Mouse: Hey, over here. Squeak squeak.

Tony: That thing talks, dude. We should listen.

Mouse: Squeak squeak.

Mouse: 'Round this way. Squeak squeak.

Rudolph: It sounds like my uncle Rutherford.
Tony: You've got an uncle Rutherford?

Anna: ...and they would turn the most brilliant shade of red in the throes of bloodlust, I should think.

Rudolph: I kind of want to shut her up.
Tony: Yeah, me, too.

Anna: Hey, I heard that!

Mouse: Check it out, it's a door. Squeak squeak.

Anna: Shame this was a bloody waste.

Tony: Cool, a secret passage.
Rudolph: Step back. I grew up in a castle. I know a thing or two about these things.

Tony: Dude, you're my age. We're not really grown-ups.
Rudolph: (completely ignoring him) If I'm not mistaken, there should be...right about...got it!

Rookery: Well, I certainly wasn't expecting this.

*is long and elaborate*

Tony: Holy cow.
Rudolph: Unholy cow.

Anna: Found a much better flashlight-thing, or whatever it's called. The better to let you save us all.
Tony: Thanks, but remember we talked about this.
Rudolph: *is trying to date the masonry*

Tony: Okay, let's go.
Rudolph: (after initial recoil) It's Rookery's. Why doesn't it hurt?

Rookery: You take the high road, and I'll take the low road, and I'll be in Scotland before you...

Rookery: ...where me and my true love---

Rookery: ---Huh. Thought I heard something.

Rookery: Where me and my true love will never meet again, on the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.

Vampire!Caretaker: *cackles* What an idiot.

Rookery: What's that smell? I think I'm getting close.

Vampire!Caretaker: You're close, alright, but not for long.

Vampire!Caretaker: See ya, sucker.