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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

TLV Abridged: Scene 14 - The Comet is Near - Part 1





Freda: *sighs* I knew this would happen.


Freda: Gregory's escaped.


Frederick: Oh, dear.


Frederick: Where has he gone?


Freda: Where else?


Freda: Tonight's the night we're supposed to be at the cliffs.


Frederick: That reminds me---wait a minute.


Frederick: The amulet's gone!


Frederick: Gregory.


Freda: Don't make such a drastic assumption, dear.


Freda: He's the key plot device, and he's on our side.


Frederick: I suppose you're right.



Frederick: I can't feel my legs.


Freda: Is it bad?


Frederick: I certainly hope not. We need to get to the cliffs...somehow.


Freda: We'll think of something.


Frederick: Are you sure of this?


Freda: Absolutely.


Frederick: Do you hear that?



Freda: Well, that's a fortunate change of luck.


Dottie: First you tell me you like Rudolph and now you want to put out that he's a horrible influence on our son?
Bob: He's too weird.


Dottie: Too weird? Seriously? That's your excuse?
Bob: What's wrong with it?


Bob: The kid wrapped himself in foil and covered himself with a tapestry.
Dottie: And what if he has a skin condition?


Frederick and Freda: Uh...well....
Freda: Look.


Frederick: Well, fancy that.


Frederick: Our children are amazing.


Bob: Skin condition, huh?
Dottie: You're the one obsessing constantly over how "normal" our son should be.


Bob: So that's a bad thing?
Dottie: You think?


Dottie: I don't know about you but I want to know where the hell our son is.


Dottie: This is ridiculous. I have no idea who this Rudolph person is or whether Tony's dead in a ditch somewhere, and you're not helping.


Bob: Anything good on the phone sex front?
Dottie: Please, God, get him away from me.


Bob: Sorry. That was uncalled for.
*Like she hasn't heard that one before.*


*Doorbell*
Bob: I'll get it.


Dottie: Finally.



Bob: Hang on, I'm right here.


Bob: Hello?


Freda: Hello.


Bob: Where have you been all my life?


Freda: A lady never reveals her age, darling.


Freda: But I'll have you know I am a married mother of three.


Bob: Oh.


Bob: How about a one-night stand?


Dottie: Robert!


Freda: It seems the lady of the house protests.


Dottie: Who are these people?


Frederick: I am Frederick Sackville-Bagg. You've met my wife Freda.


Frederick: I am Rudolph's father.


Frederick: I'm sure you're quite worried for Tony's safety. I could tell you where he is.


Dottie: You...you could?


Frederick: Yes, I could.


*kisses*


Frederick: If the lady insists.


Dottie: Uh....well...uh...you see...




Bob: Are we supposed to be dressed funny?


Frederick and Freda: Beg pardon?


Frederick: Do you realize you're married to an idiot?
Dottie: Yes. Yes, I do.


Frederick: You see, Robert, we're not in costume.


Frederick: We are aristocrats.


Dottie: You don't say.



Freda: Honestly, Robert, you need to stop staring at me like that.


Freda: He's forgetting to drool, dear.

 
 Dottie: Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure.

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