Bat: Whew, I need a break.
Tony: Obviously? Hello? Obviously Not the Wind?
Bat: No, it can't be him. *turns to look* Can it?
Tony: I sense a great disturbance in the force, as if the plot is suddenly kicking into motion. Right in this very room!
Tony: Hello?
Tony: Who's there? What plot device is this?
Tony: Anyone out there?
Bat: Turn around. I need to fly into your fireplace.
Tony: Obviously? That you?
Tony: Hello?
Rudolph: AAAHHHH! Oh, God, that hurts.
Tony: I can do this, I can do this.
Tony: It's for the plot. It's for the plot.
Rudolph: Are you a plot device?
Tony: I think so.
Tony: *seeing face from his nightmare*
Rudolph: Oh, ow. *taps back of head, nose pops back out*
Rudolph: Ah, oh, so much better.
Tony: Are...are you a plot device?
Rudolph: That's my brother.
Tony: *as fangs fall out* You're related to a plot device?
Rudolph: I think I've overdone the delirium thing. I can't hear you over the pounding of your heart.
Tony: I think I'm screwed.
*is staring at Tony's neck, in the back of his mind certain he overdid getting delirious*
*is mentally writing his Last Will*
Rudolph (inner dialogue): Mmm, this kid smells good.
Rudolph: I want.
Tony: YAAAAAAAAHHHH! *turns and runs*
Rudolph: Oh, nice door.
Rudolph: *evil smile* Here I am.
Tony: Gotta get out of here!
Rudolph: Oh, crap.
Tony: Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is the plot kicking in and trying to kill me.
Rudolph: What kind of a door sign is that?
Tony: Maybe this is my chance. My career can take off now. All I have to do is help the plot device even though it tried to kill me.
Rudolph: I have a name, you know. And I'm not the family plot device. That's my brother, I told you.
Tony: Sorry, dude.
Rudolph: What does that even mean? And wipe your face off. You look positively slovenly.
Rudolph: Seriously, though. What does 'dude' even mean?
Tony: Dude's just something kids say to each other. We call our friends dudes.
Rudolph: We're not friends.
Rudolph: Besides, I need to get out of here.
Rudolph: Get away from me, before I kill you.
Tony: But the plot needs us.
Rudolph: You're on your own.
Rudolph: Whoa, whoa--oh, not good.
*is gone*
Tony: If I don't do something and there's no plot because of it, my mom's gonna kill me.
Tony: Okay, good, he's still here.
Tony: Wow, that's gotta hurt.
Tony: So that's what she does when she thinks I'm in bed?
Tony: And people think I need a life.
*How long have they been here that they still haven't unpacked everything? No wonder no one's used to Tony.*
*Seriously, look at all those boxes.*
Tony: Dude, wake up! C'mon. You're a vampire. No way that kind of a fall could kill you.
Rudolph: Shut up. I'm trying to sleep.
Rudolph: This is a really comfortable lawn.
Truck: Peekaboo.
Tony: Cool. I want that truck.
Rudolph: Ow. Stupid light had to wake me up.
Truck: Does the radar not work on this thing? There's a vampire in the kid's back yard!
Rudolph: Doesn't it bother you that the truck can talk?
Rudolph: No time for that. I tried to get myself delirious enough to mistake you for a vampire to see if I could get anywhere with this quest my family and I are on and I...I went a little to far and I'm...I think I...
Tony: You're in bad shape, aren't you.
Rudolph: That doesn't even begin to describe it.
Tony: What am I supposed to do?
Rudolph: Look, there's a farm some five miles away from here, where my family and I sometimes feed, though how we didn't create vampire cows before this is a miracle and possibly a result of caution on our part, but I don't have time to be cautious, so I'm going to kick off a running gag for this movie because I need to feed off of a cow.
*is about to pass out*
Tony: Let me get this straight. Your family feeds on cows to survive instead of eating people?
Rudolph: Yes. Now hurry up and do something useful, because I'm about to die of starvation and exhaustion.
Tony: Okay, okay, just let me figure something out.
Rudolph: *is retching*
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