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Monday, April 21, 2014

TLV Abridged: Scene 15 - Elizabeth - Part 2




Rudolph: This is impressive stonework.


Rudolph: Pull! Pull!


Anna: They're actually shockingly light.


Rudolph: Wow, you're right.


Anna: *having a moment of silence*


Rudolph: Alright, let's do this.


Tony: *like he's giving birth* Puuuuuush!!!



*Would you look at that.*


Tony: Wow, this movie really did give up on being a kid's movie.


*Again, examine.*


Anna: They really did come here! Oh, this is so romantic!!
Rudolph: *having a moment of silence over Von's corpse*


*Not sure whether to categorize this as corpse defilement or premature onset of puberty on Tony's part.*


Tony: Uh-Oh.


Rudolph: What?
Anna: Look! The plot's happening.



*breaking into a cold sweat*


Rudolph: T-Tony....?
Anna: Oh, my.



Elizabeth: How...much...farther?
Von: Don't worry, dearest, it's not much farther. *thinking* She is really, really new at this.



*I don't count any pitchforks. I guess they make up for it in stakes.*


Elizabeth: Is that it?
Von: Yes! Now keep a calm head. The entire plot rests on your shoulders right now.


Von: Go! Run! I'll hold them off!


Von: Come at me you fiends!


Von: I really shouldn't have said that.


Elizabeth: Keep a calm head. Keep a calm head.


*prepping to burn Von at the stake (not necessarily in that order)*


Elizabeth: VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Elizabeth: Keep a calm head. Keep a calm head.


Vampire Hunter: I sense that the plot is slipping away from us.


Elizabeth: They're coming for me. What am I gonna do?


Vampire Hunter: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!


*is legitimately calmly walking while everyone else rushes forward*



Elizabeth: Seems clear, but I've said that before.


Elizabeth: This door ought to be enough to keep them for a little while.


*are legitimately...perusing the castle and taking their time*


*is listening to their footsteps for a moment*


Elizabeth: Loose floorboard? It just has to work.



Elizabeth: Let this work.


Elizabeth: Let this work.


*so they were waiting for their leader, who was apparently taking his sweet-ass time, as well*


Stone of Attamon: Here goes. I'm finally diving into plot significance.




Elizabeth: There, that should do it.


Villager #1: There you are, fiend!
Elizabeth: It's all over.



Vampire Hunter: Time for you to die.


*dramatic overreaction*


Tony: (actual line because I can't bullshit this) The stone is in my room! No wonder I've been having those dreams.


Rudolph: Did you seriously just blurt that out loud?


Rookery: Wow, I had no idea kid protagonists could be that stupid.


*is a mic*

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