Rudolph: This is impressive stonework.
Rudolph: Pull! Pull!
Anna: They're actually shockingly light.
Rudolph: Wow, you're right.
Anna: *having a moment of silence*
Rudolph: Alright, let's do this.
Tony: *like he's giving birth* Puuuuuush!!!
*Would you look at that.*
Tony: Wow, this movie really did give up on being a kid's movie.
*Again, examine.*
Anna: They really did come here! Oh, this is so romantic!!
Rudolph: *having a moment of silence over Von's corpse*
*Not sure whether to categorize this as corpse defilement or premature onset of puberty on Tony's part.*
Tony: Uh-Oh.
Rudolph: What?
Anna: Look! The plot's happening.
*breaking into a cold sweat*
Rudolph: T-Tony....?
Anna: Oh, my.
Elizabeth: How...much...farther?
Von: Don't worry, dearest, it's not much farther. *thinking* She is really, really new at this.
*I don't count any pitchforks. I guess they make up for it in stakes.*
Elizabeth: Is that it?
Von: Yes! Now keep a calm head. The entire plot rests on your shoulders right now.
Von: Go! Run! I'll hold them off!
Von: Come at me you fiends!
Von: I really shouldn't have said that.
Elizabeth: Keep a calm head. Keep a calm head.
*prepping to burn Von at the stake (not necessarily in that order)*
Elizabeth: VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elizabeth: Keep a calm head. Keep a calm head.
Vampire Hunter: I sense that the plot is slipping away from us.
Elizabeth: They're coming for me. What am I gonna do?
Vampire Hunter: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!
*is legitimately calmly walking while everyone else rushes forward*
Elizabeth: Seems clear, but I've said that before.
Elizabeth: This door ought to be enough to keep them for a little while.
*are legitimately...perusing the castle and taking their time*
*is listening to their footsteps for a moment*
Elizabeth: Loose floorboard? It just has to work.
Elizabeth: Let this work.
Elizabeth: Let this work.
*so they were waiting for their leader, who was apparently taking his sweet-ass time, as well*
Stone of Attamon: Here goes. I'm finally diving into plot significance.
Elizabeth: There, that should do it.
Villager #1: There you are, fiend!
Elizabeth: It's all over.
Vampire Hunter: Time for you to die.
*dramatic overreaction*
Tony: (actual line because I can't bullshit this) The stone is in my room! No wonder I've been having those dreams.
Rudolph: Did you seriously just blurt that out loud?
Rookery: Wow, I had no idea kid protagonists could be that stupid.
*is a mic*
No comments:
Post a Comment