Tony: This'd make a perfect mask for the Halloween party next month.
Tony: *has small internal debate about letting his dad know he heard him, decides against it*
Tony: A golf ball?
Tony: Hey, Dad, you're actually talking to me.
Bob: Cuz I wanna teach you golf, and give you these.
Bob: And while I hand over a junior set of golf clubs, I have to tell you that the game was invented in Scotland.
Tony: Why? It has nothing to do with anything.
Bob: Well, the script says so, bud.
Bob: And if I wanna keep my job and still be able to act, I've gotta do what the script tells me.
Dottie: I've been looking everywhere for you. We're running five minutes late. This is no time to give our son acting tips.
Dottie: Some indecipherable Scottish lady is downstairs. I think she's the babysitter, which is good, because somebody would call CPS or something if we left Tony alone for however long we're going to be out. Is the tartan sash really necessary? You know what, no. Don't answer that. I'm not in the mood for a long talk about the significance and symbolism of anything Scottish you take to wearing or doing.
Tony: *looks at his mom funny*
Bob: I like my tartan sash.
Tony: *puppy eyes* Don't leave, guys. Please?
Dottie: Hey, look at those. Those are awesome.
Bob: *questioning his wife's sanity, as well*
*foreshadowing*
*cause for concern (read: call a therapist)*
Dottie: *is pretending to be oblivious* *inner monologue* If Bob tells Tony to draw Tiger Woods one more time... *out loud* If you weren't so singularly obsessed, we might be able to get you into a gifted artist program. Huh, hon?
Bob: *not bothering to hide anything* If he wasn't so singularly obsessed, we wouldn't have to face any awkward questions about our parenting skills.
Dottie: Can't you cut the kid a little slack and stop obsessing over how we look to the outside world for once?
Bob: While climbing up the corporate ladder? Not likely.
Dottie: Why am I still married to that man?
Tony: So I can model having a superficially stable home life for all the little viewers at home.
Dottie: There's our good little movie star!
Dottie: Now remember the ground rules: bed by nine, brush your teeth, don't sleep in your glasses or you'll break them, and only talk to strangers when it's convenient for the plot.
Tony: Don't worry, Mom. I won't let you down!
Tony: Well, back to work. Maybe next I'll cut out some paper fangs to help Obviously think I'm a vampire.
No comments:
Post a Comment